The pain driving Cayless

parragirl · Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:41 am Post subject: The pain driving Cayless

Heartache ... Eels captain Nathan Cayless reflects on one of the most difficult periods of his life. / The Sunday Telegraph

By David Riccio | March 02, 2008 12:00am

NATHAN Cayless didn't want to do this interview. Seven months on, the pain was still too raw.

Sitting opposite The Sunday Telegraph last week, the Eels skipper took a deep breath, dropped his guard and, for the first time publicly, opened his heart.

"Every now and again it'll hit you,'' Cayless said.

"You might be driving in the car and all of a sudden you start thinking about things.''

Like the loss of his biggest fan, his mother, Marlene, to cancer and the death of his grandfather two weeks later.

Cayless said it was his mum's dream to see him win a grand final at Parramatta, and he will be doing everything possible to make that happen.

At a football level it was tough, too, after he had a pectoral muscle ripped from the bone and went through four months of rehabilitation.

"2007 wasn't the best of years for me or our family,'' Cayless says.

"My brother and I lost our biggest supporter. We've sort of all dealt with it the best we can.''

The Cayless way is to grieve privately, confiding only in your immediate family. Team-mates and Eels coaching staff will read this article not knowing the full extent of their captain's anguish.

"It's all just something I'm still not comfortable talking about at the moment.'' Cayless said.

"I've got a very close family; my brother (former Roosters and current St Helens forward Jason) and my dad and my New Zealand relatives.

"We took Mum back over there to be buried next to her parents. That was all done in the traditional way.''

The 11-year veteran is one of the NRL's most respected figures.

"I've always tried to set the right example,'' he said.

"It's the same reason why I couldn't really mope around too much ... because I've got two young children.

"My son (Eddy) was born about six weeks after my mum passed away and I've also got a two-year-old daughter (Mia), who keeps us pretty busy. Losing your mum is hard, but she'd be happy that I'm looking after my children as best I can and working hard at footy.''

Last night in Gosford, Cayless took the field for the first time since being wishboned by Melbourne's Brett White in last year's grand final qualifier. Memories of his mother were at the front of his mind.

"I've worked hard to get back but it's always hard, your first game of the year, especially when the doctor initially said I wouldn't be right until April or May,'' Cayless said.

"I know Mum loved me playing footy and loved watching ... she always wanted us to win the comp, so that's what I'll try and do. I'll keep working hard so that it can happen.''

http://www.news.com.au/dailyteleg.../0,26799,23304213-5006066,00.html

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